Monday, February 28, 2011

Here and There

Let's see...random stuff today:

My kiddo lost her first tooth last Friday night! Actually, let me re-phrase. My kiddo pulled out her first loose tooth last Friday night! It was barely hanging on and she was anxious about letting me or her dad tug it out. We each tried, but she started to panic. I suggested she grab hold of it with a paper towel and pull it forward--she did and it popped right out! She's so proud of herself and that missing-tooth-grin is adorable.

Last Wednesday, I enjoyed a night out with my sister watching Pete Yorn. That man can sing. And his instrument work--wow. The night was almost (almost!) ruined by a scary envelope I pulled out of the mailbox that afternoon.

I got home from work, opened the mailbox and froze. Inside was an envelope and the first thing I saw was the green triangle in the upper left corner. Hottie Doc's office label. I'd had my scope on the 9th, no reason to think anything was wrong. Except for the fact that they send out samples every time I go in for a procedure. I tried to calm my nerves, telling myself that if it was really bad news, they would have called and told me to set up an appointment. My hands were shaking so hard I could barely open the envelope. There was a note inside letting me know to call the office.

First I giggled, thinking about what I would have given a decade ago to get a note from a doctor with his number, asking me to call him. Then I felt the dread rise up. Was the cancer back? Did the lab find something new? What was it?

I picked up the phone and started dialing, then hung up. I was getting ready to go out and if it was bad news, I didn't want it to ruin the evening. So I went out, had a drink with my sister, waited through one "okay" and one "barely mediocre" opening act, then got down to the business of enjoying the really good music. Thank you, Pete Yorn, for taking my mind off the cancer fears.

Thursday morning, I did call the office and was relieved to find out that they did not find cancer cells. They found some abnormalities, which at this point, is almost routine for me, but they had some concerns that things were more unusual than usual, if that makes sense.

Cancer is a strange thing. Even when it's not there, it's always present. The worry and concern, the fears and "what ifs"...they linger. And not like the sweet flavor of wine on your tongue. More like the stench of a nasty dog fart. Cancer sparks a negative reaction--every twinge, every time I feel something funny, any pain or burning in my bladder, pressure or swelling, any ache in my flank or kidneys, my first thought is no longer about a pulled muscle or a UTI. It's always, "Is the cancer back?" I'm comforted to know that my feelings are not strange and thankfully, my doctors take me seriously when I say something doesn't feel right.

What else? Oh, a plumber is coming out to the house tomorrow. A few weeks ago, there was a faint hint of water hammer, but it's now becoming a major nuisance What started out as a quiet, intermittent tap in the pipes in the master bath is now a whole-house clanging whenever a toilet flushes or the water runs. Even worse is the incessant knocking in the wall behind the toilet, about every 4 seconds, which kept me up most of the night. There's no obvious leak (thank goodness!), but I'm worried about what's going on. I bled the pipes twice and the knocking actually stopped while the water was shut off, but then started up again shortly after putting the water back on. The water level in the toilet tank keeps dropping, too, which seems to indicate that we need a new ballcock (um...yeah...who thought up that name??), but I'm afraid there's something more going on. So, we'll see what the plumber says tomorrow. Of course, it's an expense that we can't afford right now, but I figure I'd rather pay for the service call and get a minor problem fixed than risk it turning into a major super-expensive repair down the road.

So, that's it. And that's probably enough for now.

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