Monday, November 22, 2010

Restless

I just randomly changed my blog design. I like it.

The pace I've been running at lately is getting out of hand and I've been left with a nagging feeling of restlessness and resentment. I'm good at multi-tasking, but honestly, things are starting to slip through the cracks. I'm forgetting small things, but some of them are important. That bothers me a lot, and people who know me well know that my memory is pretty sharp. It's disturbing that I find myself losing my train of thought or forgetting things that need to be done. I suspect that lack of restful sleep is a big part of it. I haven't been able to really rejuvenate in a while. I have a few days off this week for the Thanksgiving holiday, so I'm hopeful that I can get in a few nights of good rest.

There have been a lot of arguments in my household lately. I think that's where the tug of resentment is coming from. Personalities and priorities have been clashing quite a bit in recent weeks and part of me feels like a good fight would clear the air. I feel like if I could yell and scream a little (or a lot), maybe, just maybe I would feel heard. Maybe I would finally feel like what I say is important. Or even if not important, at least somewhat valuable.

I was thinking about my faith recently and how God tends to work in ways I don't understand. I remind myself to duck, to get out of the way and let Him come out swinging for me, but I haven't been so good at that lately. I drag myself up too soon and He ends up smacking me in the back of the head. I do kind of have a headache tonight. Just sayin'.

Right now, I have a kiddo who wants to snuggle with me and that seems like the perfect way to end this not-so-perfect day.

2 comments:

Cheryl said...

I've always thought you do too much and shoulder too much of the responsibility. You need to be heard. Yelling might be just the thing.

Catherine said...

I've been meaning to tell you that I love the new layout. Nice job!