Sunday, August 15, 2010

Maxed Out

The amount of cooking I do is a direct reflection of the amount of stressful events in my life. On this glorious Sunday, I'm making peach cobbler, apple crisp, ham and potato casserole, pork chops, chicken sausage, zucchini and eggplant, maybe some asparagus and...and...I don't know what else yet. What I do know is that there will be plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners this week.

I think, at least for me, there's therapy in routine and keeping my hands busy. It's a good distraction and keeps my mind occupied with simple tasks, so I can't freak out over anything else.

There's really nothing new going on, I just think in the past few months, everything has been catching up with me. I also thought I was coping pretty well, rolling with things as much as I could and taking everything as it comes. This week, though, I just felt that beginning hysteria--you know what you've finally had enough and you start giggle maniacally because you don't know what else to do? Wait. Does anyone besides me do that? Maybe it is just me. But whatever.

I went to the doctor because my knee was bothering me. The whole joint was tender and there was a noticeable lump on the side of my kneecap. Golfball-sized. The doctor gave me some info while I've been waiting for the x-ray results and I made the mistake of doing some online research. Do you know that if you search for something like "cyst on knee", "lump on kneecap", "painful knee" or any other combination of words, there will be at least a dozen hits telling you that you have some terrible disease and you're going to die? Thank you, internet, for freaking me out. I'm over it now and just waiting to see what the doctor is going to say. Best case scenario is that it's a little arthritis and bursitis. Worst case scenario (aside from the whole terrible disease and death thing) is that I may have a small tear in the meniscus, which is leaking fluid and causing a cyst to form. Neither situation is great, but both are certainly manageable.

There is a little light in all of this wackiness--I got a letter in the mail last week from Aflac--the supplemental insurance company with the goofy duck on the commercials--reminding me that I have a yearly "bonus" of sorts in my cancer-care plan. They were reminding me that there was money waiting for me! All I had to do was fill out a form, have a doctor sign it, and they cut me a check that, for us, will cover our grocery expenses for five weeks. Not bad. In this current economic climate, lots of people I know are dropping their Aflac coverage, but I signed up five years ago for cancer care, short-term disability and hospitalization, not really thinking I needed any of it, but since I'd just had a baby, I thought it was a good investment. But after my bladder cancer episode last year, I sure am glad I have it. The cancer diagnosis came only days after my husband lost his job, and without that supplemental policy, well, I don't know where we would have ended up.

Let's see...anything else? Mmmm...not too much at home. No job leads for the husband yet. Boooo. Kiddo is starting kindergarten on Friday. Wow. I'm excited and anxious about that. Everything else is about the same.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see what my husband is doing in the kitchen. I need my space and a lot of time for the cooking/baking I'm doing and I can't have him in my way!

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

I have the Aflac cancer policy and short-term disability. Many a time I've thought of canceling, but cancer especially is so common that I just keep on paying. I'm so glad you have it too, considering.

Wish I was moved to cook :)