Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ghosts

Anyone who knows me, knows that I believe in ghosts. I'm not really convinced that all ghosts have evil intentions or that they're trapped and can't cross over. I do, however, believe that there is a spirit world that exists in harmony with ours, just sort of in a different dimension. I also believe that some people are more sensitive than others when it comes to seeing the goings-on of the spirt world.

I believe that we don't necessarily seek out spirits, but sometimes they seek out us, for whatever reason. And every now and then, I see something that reinforces that. Kiddo and her dad went to the Field of Dreams in Iowa yesterday. I would like to say that there is nothing wrong with my camera. All pictures taken before were normal and all pictures taken after were normal. So how do you explain the small haze in each of the following pictures? (You can click on any of the pictures to make them a little larger for a better look.)

Her left foot...



Her left foot again, going up toward her knee...


Center of her tummy...


Her upper left chest...



Center chest...

Center of this kid's back...


Moved off to the left...


Now, I'm sure there probably is some sort of semi-reasonable explanation, but I think I'm going to choose to believe a less-reasonable explanation.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hello?

It looks like I need to dust off this blog. It's been kinda desolate around here.

*crickets chirping*

I've been a terrible blogger...so many posts started, none of them finished, and even worse, no real motivation to even attempt finishing them. My lack of blogging has a lot to do with the fact that there hasn't been too much going on. Just hanging in there for the most part.

My baby girl started kindergarten last Friday. Her first day started with her dad cutting a tag out of the back of her shirt, resulting in two holes, and then hitting her in the head with the scissors. It was a rough morning, but she was able to relax and enjoyed the ride to school holding an ice pack on her head.


Overall, she's been enjoying kindergarten, other than the part of having to eat lunch in the cafeteria. She's a slow eater and having a lot of trouble adjusting to having only 30 minutes to eat. She had major meltdowns the last two nights at bedtime because she doesn't want to eat lunch at school. She loves the rest of it, just not the eating part. Tonight was better and she's sound asleep now. It's been a hard adjustment for me, too. I went back to work today after a few days off, and I just kept thinking about her, how her day was going and whether she was doing okay. I also kept daydreaming about the things I'd be doing if I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. Honestly, it brought a smile to my face to think about catching up on laundry, cleaning, planning dinner, etc. I like that domestic side of myself and would love it if I had more opportunity to let that side thrive.

So, if anyone would like to provide me with the financial backing to be a stay-at-home mom, I'd be all over it. Really. And I'd make cookies for you, too.


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Maxed Out

The amount of cooking I do is a direct reflection of the amount of stressful events in my life. On this glorious Sunday, I'm making peach cobbler, apple crisp, ham and potato casserole, pork chops, chicken sausage, zucchini and eggplant, maybe some asparagus and...and...I don't know what else yet. What I do know is that there will be plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners this week.

I think, at least for me, there's therapy in routine and keeping my hands busy. It's a good distraction and keeps my mind occupied with simple tasks, so I can't freak out over anything else.

There's really nothing new going on, I just think in the past few months, everything has been catching up with me. I also thought I was coping pretty well, rolling with things as much as I could and taking everything as it comes. This week, though, I just felt that beginning hysteria--you know what you've finally had enough and you start giggle maniacally because you don't know what else to do? Wait. Does anyone besides me do that? Maybe it is just me. But whatever.

I went to the doctor because my knee was bothering me. The whole joint was tender and there was a noticeable lump on the side of my kneecap. Golfball-sized. The doctor gave me some info while I've been waiting for the x-ray results and I made the mistake of doing some online research. Do you know that if you search for something like "cyst on knee", "lump on kneecap", "painful knee" or any other combination of words, there will be at least a dozen hits telling you that you have some terrible disease and you're going to die? Thank you, internet, for freaking me out. I'm over it now and just waiting to see what the doctor is going to say. Best case scenario is that it's a little arthritis and bursitis. Worst case scenario (aside from the whole terrible disease and death thing) is that I may have a small tear in the meniscus, which is leaking fluid and causing a cyst to form. Neither situation is great, but both are certainly manageable.

There is a little light in all of this wackiness--I got a letter in the mail last week from Aflac--the supplemental insurance company with the goofy duck on the commercials--reminding me that I have a yearly "bonus" of sorts in my cancer-care plan. They were reminding me that there was money waiting for me! All I had to do was fill out a form, have a doctor sign it, and they cut me a check that, for us, will cover our grocery expenses for five weeks. Not bad. In this current economic climate, lots of people I know are dropping their Aflac coverage, but I signed up five years ago for cancer care, short-term disability and hospitalization, not really thinking I needed any of it, but since I'd just had a baby, I thought it was a good investment. But after my bladder cancer episode last year, I sure am glad I have it. The cancer diagnosis came only days after my husband lost his job, and without that supplemental policy, well, I don't know where we would have ended up.

Let's see...anything else? Mmmm...not too much at home. No job leads for the husband yet. Boooo. Kiddo is starting kindergarten on Friday. Wow. I'm excited and anxious about that. Everything else is about the same.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see what my husband is doing in the kitchen. I need my space and a lot of time for the cooking/baking I'm doing and I can't have him in my way!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why and Why Not

After the past few days, I was getting a little down. Started asking myself, "Why me? Why now?"

And then it came to me. Why not me? And why not now?

So what if my husband's been out of work for 14 months? So what if unemployment benefits have been cut by half and COBRA is more than doubling? So what if no health insurance company will insure my daughter, which leaves us in a bind with the COBRA costs? So what if I have a lump the size of a golf ball in my knee (that's new, just found out today...) and we have no idea what it is? So what if I had to go to work and be looking for a potential dead body at 9:30am?

God hand picked me for this, right? He's gotta have some kind of plan in mind for me. I don't know what it is, and I don't know if I'll understand why, but I suppose all I can do is be thankful in my circumstances and wait for the next events to unfold.

I heard two great quotes...don't know who came up with them, but I've been keeping them in mind...

1. When you reach your wit's end, you'll find that's where God lives.

2. When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.

Looks like I'll be knocking on God's front door soon (not literally, my health is good and I'm not planning on going out in a blaze of glory anytime soon) and finding out what He's got in store for me next!

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Victory

In the past 48 hours, I've accomplished two things on my "Bucket List".

I jumped in the deep end of a pool. (For anyone who knows me, this is a BIG deal.) And I made someone (my kiddo) laugh until screaming, "Stop, I'm going to pee on myself!"

Yeah, life is pretty good, even when it's pretty bad.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Menu Plan Monday

I made a yummy dinner tonight and it got me thinking about the rest of the week. We've been doing more penny-pinching lately and it's affecting the grocery budget. Other than shopping for necessities/fresh produce, there will be no grocery shopping until the end of the month. That being said, I've been scouring the fridge, freezer and pantry for meal ideas. We're going to be eating a lot of chicken this month. Even so, I've got this week's menu planned.

Monday~ Mini meatloaves and squash

Tuesday~ Chicken, mac and cheese, green beans

Wednesday~ Pork roast, rice, baked apples

Thursday~ Quesadillas (veggie and chicken)

Friday~ Pizza night


I'm also going to be using the next few weeks to figure out family-friendly, budget-friendly meals that will produce a fair amount of leftovers so that I'm able to pack my kiddo's lunches. I usually cook just what we need because I don't like having food go to waste, but since I'm going to be packing her lunch daily, leftovers will be important. Sandwiches are okay sometimes, but I like the idea of her getting nutritious, yummy food which will require some creativity on my part. I'm up for the challenge!