Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Okay, I Admit It...

I have a peculiar, obsessive thought regarding death.

I always wonder if I end up dying in an accident or under strange circumstances, will CSI come to my house? And if they do, what will they think of my cluttered basement? Or my obsessively organized closet? (Actually, right now, it's kind of un-organized, but if you look at the clothes, they're still organized by color and from the lightest shade to the darkest shade.) Will they think it's weird that my refrigerator doesn't have a lot of leftovers? Or that all of my fruits and vegetables are neatly organized in perfectly stackable Tupperware containers?

Will they think it's weird that my toilets are clean enough to lick? Not that I would encourage anyone to try that, because that would be strange, but still...

Oh, and I hope they don't look in my underwear drawer, because that would bother me. Even if I am dead.

Heh heh heh.

Oh, and my husband is reading over my shoulder and asking if I'll add that he rubbed my back last night until I fell asleep, so I told him I would. He rubbed my back last night until I fell asleep. There.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Better Yet?

It seems like I should be all better after a week of antibiotics, but I still can't quite seem to shake whatever I've got. I'm definitely better than last week, but just feeling off.

I'm feeling good enough that I made a pan of fudge and I'm making "eyeball cupcakes" later this afternoon for my hubby's friends who are coming over to play poker. Are you curious about eyeball cupcakes? Yes? Good! Let me tell you about them...

It's actually a combination of two recipes from Taste of Home and Wilton. I'm making a basic red velvet cake recipe, but instead of baking a cake, I'll be making cupcakes. After they're cooled, I'm going to carefully cut circles about an inch deep in the tops. Then I'm going to spoon in some seedless raspberry preserves, drop in a gummy eyeball, then replace the tops of the cupcakes. I'm going to cover them with white icing, then pipe red "veins" on them, and finish it off with a green lifesaver (for the iris of the eye) and a chocolate chip (for the pupil). So...they'll look like eyeballs and our guests will find a "bloody eyeball" in the middle when they bite into it.

I'm not telling any of the guests about the eyeballs in the middle. I'll let them be surprised.

Another fun variation is to make chocolate cupcakes, then spoon in some chocolate pudding and a gummy worm!

Have I mentioned that I really, really, REALLY like Halloween?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Quiet Around Here

It's quiet around here because I can't freakin' talk! I went to the doctor yesterday, which it turns out was a very, very good thing. By the time I got there, it felt like someone had shoved an old sock into the back of my throat.

Not that I've ever had an old sock in my throat, it just seemed like a good analogy.

I knew it wasn't my tonsils, because those have been gone since 2006. All I knew is that I didn't feel well and if it had been an option, I would have shoved my hand down my throat to pull out whatever was there. It was a good thing I didn't try it, because there wasn't anything to pull out. It's just that swollen.

I knew when I woke up yesterday that whatever cold bug I had was worse. I couldn't seem to speak any louder than a squeaky whisper and I was having trouble swallowing--not just that it hurt to swallow, which it did, but more that I physically couldn't seem to swallow. And every time I tried to take a deep breath, it felt like my throat was closing up. Well, that's because it was.

I'm always impressed when a doctor looks at something and has a response along the lines of, "What in God's name is that?" Heh heh. It's an infection, plain and simple, but it had been brewing for a while and had moved far down into my pharynx, spread beyond that and caused inflammation in my voicebox, too. No strep, thank goodness, but still icky.

The doctor laughed when I said I'd get my antibiotic filled and head back into the office. She laughed. Literally laughed out loud and said, "Um, what exactly makes you think I'm going to give you permission to go back to work today? Or tomorrow, for that matter?" Then she handed me a note that said I was to stay home until Monday. I don't mind a day off every now and then, but it's better when it's to do something fun and not because I'm sick.

Oh, and the part about it being quiet around the house? It's because I'm supposed to be on "voice rest" for 72 hours. It seemed better this morning, so of course I was my stubborn self and started chatting with the hubby, only to have blinding pain an hour later and my voice return to a puberty-stricken-Peter-Brady sound.

I learned my lesson. I'm keeping quiet and resting.

My husband isn't complaining about the quiet part.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sick

I am sick and cranky and miserable. I can't stand being sick. My head is pounding, my throat hurts, my ears are throbbing. Errrrr. Good thing I was already scheduled to see the doctor tomorrow. Going to lay down now.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Waiting on Good Things

While eating dinner tonight, my kiddo started asking when she could have dessert. My husband, in an effort to be helpful, attempted to explain the importance of being patient, using the old standby phrase, "Good things come to those who wait."

Without missing a beat, I quipped, "Yeah, and I've been patient long enough, so the rest of my life better be a freakin' fairy tale."

We laughed about it. And after all, there are lots of good things out there to be seen and experienced, some as close as my own backyard (or the state park)...




Friday, September 11, 2009

Nine Eleven

Seems like it should just be another day, doesn't it? But it isn't.

September 11, 2001 was my one-month wedding anniversary and it wasn't getting off to a very good start. I was driving to work, still seething over a fight I'd had with my husband the night before that had culminated in me throwing a potato peeler at him. We'd gone to bed without speaking and hadn't even made eye contact that morning.

I was driving south on a local route to my office when I turned on the radio and was confused by what I was hearing. Was it some kind of prank? What was going on. And then, I heard one of the DJs say, "What the...?" and I heard a strange, muffled crashing sound. There was silence for a moment, and then the DJ said, "Oh my God, a plane just went into the second tower." They were watching the news in the background and the muffled crash I heard was from their television--the sound of the second plane slamming into the tower.

I called home and asked my husband to please put on CNN and tell me that I wasn't hearing what I thought I was hearing. The rest of the day was spent agonizing, waiting and worrying. Our fight from the night before was gone. Done. Couldn't remember what it was even about. (Although I do remember now and it had to with him not helping with the dishes or the thank you notes from our wedding--dumb, I know.)

I know that for many people, life changed dramatically that day, and September 11th has a much more significant impact for some people than for others. I suppose no American will forget what happened on September 11, 2001. But like it or not, life goes on.

On September 11, 2004, I found out I was pregnant. I was listening to a local station, hearing people discuss the anniversary, and I was standing in the bathroom, open-mouthed, staring at a stunning positive result on a home pregnancy test.

One year later, on September 11, 2005, my little baby girl was Baptized.

Each year, September 11th comes and goes, bringing with it memories, sadness, and in some cases, a reminder of sweetness shining through the dark.

Here's to you, America.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What's Cooking?

September is off and running, isn't it? I can hardly believe it, but Autumn is coming up fast--and I can't wait! It's my favorite time of year. Tonight is making me even more eager for cooler weather, because I associate Autumn with baking and I'm baking bread right now. Lots and lots of bread. But not plain, ol' regular bread. Super-yummy-bad-for-the-waistline bread.

It smells divine in my kitchen right now.

I'm making cinnamon-sugar bread. And cocoa-chocolate-chip bread. And orange-vanilla-almond bread. Ooooohhhhh. I'm going to have to take some of it to work so I can fatten my co-workers and hopefully avoid fattening myself.

In the meantime, I'm off to read blogs!

Friday, September 04, 2009

A Little Dance

My glum mood has been gradually lifting over the past few days and I'm starting to feel more like myself again, doing occasional little dances around the living room. And tonight, I have good reason: The hubby and I got a baby-sitter and we planned on going out on a date tonight (to the discount movie theater since we're still being super-cautious with our money), but instead, we decided to do a little shopping. We've been hoarding some Kohl's gift cards and coupons, and tonight, we're unleashing it all! Mwah-hahahahaha!

We're unleashing it on some new pots for the kitchen. That part may not really be fun, BUT...we get to go out! By ourselves! And we get to stay out past our daughter's bedtime!

Oh my gosh, we might even rent a movie tonight and STAY UP LATE. Please understand that by "late", what I mean is that we'll try not to fall over before 11:30pm. I'm already running on my second wind, so we'll see how well I hold out.

Well, I'm off! Hope everyone has a great start to the Labor Day weekend!

**Update...It's 11:02pm and I'm about ready to crash. Must. Have. Sleep. But before I do, I just had to share that we went to Kohl's. You ready for the total spent? $88.18. Amount saved: $273.85. Money is tight, but boy do we know how to stretch it! And the best thing was the bright pink shirt my hubby bought for me that has a big, glittery orange on it with a very sad face...the orange is staring at a glass of orange juice and whimpering, "Mom?" Heh heh.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Attitude Adjustment

I've been in a really foul mood for the past week. Scowling, complaining, ornery in general. I want to feel better. I want someone to wave a magic wand and make my world a better place.



In other words, I want somethin' for nothin'.



Since I know that's not going to happen, I had to make a conscious choice today to just buck up and get over my circumstances. Life handed me lemons, so I'll make lemonade. Or I'll tuck 'em in my bra--can't hurt, might help. (I read that somewhere when I was in high school!) Plus, I do like citrus scents.



Anyway, I reminded myself this afternoon that out of everything in my life that I can't control (job loss, cancer, allergies, rude people, etc.), the one thing I get to be perfectly in control of is my attitude. My emotions and feelings sometimes take on a life of their own, but at the end of the day, I get to decide what I do with them and how I portray myself to the world.



Do I want to come across as a crabby, mean-spirited, shrew? Even if I am one? No, of course not. I mean, being a shrew has its advantages, but in the end, it's not really worth it. I'd like to save the bad-attitude "big guns" for bigger, more important issues.



Today, I took the time to thing about what I should be grateful for and happy about--I kinda got out of that daily routine, so it's time I re-started it.



1. A long-lost, 63 year old picture of a grandmother that I never got to meet (many thanks to my sister who receive this picture from an aunt and was kind enough to share it):

2. Fun ideas for a Halloween cake...I'm trying to decide between a Frankenstein or graveyard theme.

3. Nice weather with a touch of Autumn in the air.

4. Being there for someone who just needs me to listen.

5. My insurance company paying for my surgery, post-op care and subsequent ER visit!

They're all little things, I suppose, but they're a big deal to me and I'm thankful.