Saturday, January 19, 2008

Mars and Venus

Men and women are from the same planet--I think we just speak different languages, which is the direct result of a chromosomal problem. See, women are XX. Men are XY. Since they only have one X, it means they only understand half of what's going on with or being said by their mates--and that's when they're paying attention.

To my darling...I love you, honey, but there are some things I need to clarify:

1. Grocery shopping and fighting Saturday traffic do not qualify as "down time" or "alone time" or "mommy time".

2. I like having clean bathrooms, but cleaning them does not qualify as a relaxing activity--though I am always relieved when it's done.

3. I might love cooking, but sometimes, it still feels like a chore.

4. "Doing laundry" includes folding and putting away the clothes. I know you think you're helping when you wash the clothes, but when you leave a pile of clean clothes sitting in a basket for three days and they get all wrinkled, I end up re-washing them, because I don't have four hours to iron it all.

5. Leaving cans and empty milk jugs on the counter does not count as recycling. You actually have to put them in the recycling bin and put the bin on the curb for it to count.

6. In a woman's world, two squares of toilet paper left on the roll means that there's no toilet paper on the roll.

7. When you can no longer push down the trash in the wastebasket, it means it's full and needs to be taken out.

8. The plastic bags are kept where they've always been kept. That means it takes 4.8 seconds to put a new bag in the empty wastebasket.

9. The same thing goes for the kitchen garbage.

10. All of the dishes (with the exception of the cabinet where the baby bottles used to be) are where they have been since we moved in. Putting dishes away isn't that difficult, I promise.

Make no mistake, I love him, but every now and then, I feel a little crazy...

2 comments:

Cheryl said...

There are some great things about having a partner that I miss, but there's also a lot to be said for being the only one in charge of your home. Things get done the way you want them to. Still, I'm sure you wouldn't trade. I especially got a kick out of the 2 pieces of toilet paper!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

GASP!!!!
ARE YOU MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND??
:), Crusty~