Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's My 100th Post!

For my 100th post, I wanted to write about something big…something amazing…dazzling!

Um, not quite. But I thought I’d share this for a few laughs:

I was laying in bed last night drifting off to sleep when I shifted to get more comfortable and barely brushed my husband’s foot with mine.

He’s a grown man, but he began flailing his arms and legs, squealing like a terrified child, yelling, “Oh my God, oh my God!”

I shot straight up and was all, “Holy crap, what’s the matter?”

His bulging eyes were darting around the room and he said, “I was kind of zoned out and when I felt your foot touch mine, I thought it was a wild animal.”

I looked at my slender size 8 foot. “A wild animal?”

“Yeah,” he swore. “I thought it was going to eat me.”

“Nice, honey. Really nice. You know I’m going to blog about this.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

What's That Funky Smell?!

I'm sitting in my office with a runny nose and watery eyes. Allergies? No.

A co-worker was in here wearing a coat with a very, very strong and stale cigarette odor. I sprayed lemon-scented air freshener when the co-worker left.

My office now smells like pickles.

I like pickles. But the smell right now is nauseating. Gag, gag. Even the fan isn't getting rid of the odor. See?? It's just one more reason for me to figure out a way to become independently wealthy. Then I wouldn't have to worry about a stinky office.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Dreamscape Re-Visited

I try not to put too much value on my dreams. I have some crazy ones, in sort of weird, 3-D technicolor. I don't remember ever not having strange dreams. Sometimes I feel like they mean something, and when I get that feeling, I pay attention. Most of the time, though, it's just sort of nonsensical stuff. Not lately.

I had that dream again. I don't like how I'm feeling today, just kind of unsettled, a little irritable. Why can't I seem to get to the end of that dream?

And then I had another dream, too. There was a young man on a bicycle hit by a car and I was administering first aid. He knew me, but I had no idea who he was. His name was Ryan, and he kept saying, "Just get me to where I need to be." I kept telling him it was dangerous for me to move him, that we had to wait for an ambulance. He gripped my hand and said the same thing..."Just get me to where I need to be."

I woke up just as I was lifting him in my arms. I was sweating and my heart was racing, but I just lay in bed, trying to quiet my breathing, knowing that there was unfinished business. Where does he need to go? And why does he need me to take him there?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Pre-Thanksgiving Festivities

Today was a busy, busy day.

In keeping up with tradition, I took today off work and devoted the afternoon to baking. My sister hosts the annual Thanksgiving dinner (can't wait for tomorrow--yummy!), but I'm bringing something for dessert. I decided to try out something new, which can be dangerous the day before a holiday, but I figured it was early enough in the day that if it came out terrible, I could make something else.

After thumbing through some recipes, I finally decided on Outrageous Cookie Bars. I actually made those first, around two o'clock this afternoon, and my kitchen still smells heavenly. I snuck one after they cooled, just to make sure they taste as decadent as they smell. Um, believe me, they do.

After that was settled, I started on my next endeavor: a quadruple recipe of classic chocolate chip cookies. Why quadruple? Well, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, and truly giving thanks, I bake like crazy to share with a few of the local fire stations. See, back in Spring of 2005 after I had my daughter, there was this big episode where my heart went haywire and landed me in critical care until things got figured out. That sounds so non-chalant, doesn't it? It wasn't at the time, but I'm healthy now. I start thinking about it a lot around Thanksgiving and realize just how much I have to be thankful for. Anyway, since then, as a way to show my appreciation and support of the men and women who operate out of the fire stations, I stuff them with goodies. Usually, I deliver to the two fire stations that are within 2 miles of my house, but this year, I'm adding a third, that's clear on the other side of the city. Why? My husband ran into the paramedic who initially responded to the frantic 911 call two and half years ago, and that's the station he's working out of now. Funny how things circle around like that.

I have a lot to be thankful for--a home, a family, a job, food on the table...but I wouldn't have had any of those if not for the quick arrival of emergency workers who cared for me in 2005. Who needs a knight in shining armor when you've got a paramedic in a shining ambulance?

And who needs Thanksgiving dinner when you've got twenty dozen chocolate chip cookies just begging to be eaten??

Monday, November 19, 2007

Anti-Viral Tissue Cures World's Woes

You know how Kleenex sells the tissue that supposedly kills 99.9% of cold and flu viruses? I've been blowing my nose in that. And I got to thinking...if it works so well, why don't people just eat it instead? It could cure colds and flus before they start. It could stop indigestion. It could make the biggest jerks in the world turn into nice people.

Ri-i-i-i-ight. Like eating tissue just might be the answer to all the world's problems. Maybe it would work if we liquified it and shot it at people using blow-darts. Bah. I'm going back to Puffs Plus with Lotion. At least those are easier on my Rudolph-red nose.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

War on Germs

I hate being sick. Hate it, hate it, hate it. And did I mention that I hate it? Arghhhh.

The cold I had last week has morphed into a sinus infection. It's so bad that my top teeth hurt and my face is swollen, especially around my eyes. I've got two small, dark, beady spots where my expressive brown eyes usually reside. And since I'm so stuffed up, I'm having to mouth-breathe, which leaves that icky film around my lips. Yuck. I got a good look at myself in the mirror and lo and behold! It was like there was a rabid animal staring back at me! Funny. But not. Definitely not. There's nothing funny about gobs of goo and mountains of tissues.

My throat is finally feeling better, which is good. I forgot what a real sore throat felt like. I haven't been sick too much since I had my tonsils taken out last year. For those who don't know, I spent most of 2005 (which included a good chunk of my pregnancy) and the first several months of 2006 on and off antibiotics for a chronic throat infection and recurring strep. When my tonsils finally got to the point that they were interfering with my daily activities--namely, my ability to breathe properly--and the antibiotics just weren't working anymore, I finally took the ENTs advice and scheduled a tonsillectomy. Hands down, probably the best decision I've made in my adult life so far. During the surgery, the doc checked my adenoids, too, and discovered they were as big as rocks, so those came out, along with golf ball-sized tonsils. I remember waking up right after surgery, and even though I was in a lot of pain, it actually wasn't as bad as I had feared--it actually hurt less than my throat felt on a typical day with the tonsils in there! Of course, I was doped up on all kinds of good pain meds, but even when they wore off, I didn't feel too bad. Don't get me wrong, it did hurt, but the anticipation of the pain was way worse than the real thing...just a little FYI for anyone out there wondering what a tonsillectomy as an adult is like.

Sorry, just a little rambling there. Anyway, my point is that it's weird to have a sore throat now. I guess I could have said that right at the beginning and been done with it. Ah well.

My little munchkin is doing better, too. The worst part for her is that when she gets sick, her breathing problems flare up. Not asthma. It's worse than that. There's not even a name for it, at least not as far as I know. She had RSV as an infant, and it did a number on her tiny little lungs. We started her breathing treatments on Friday and she's showing some spunk today, which is a relief. We've dodged every bullet so far, and she hasn't had to be hospitalized even once. I hope I didn't just jinx it.

We all went to the dentist yesterday--stellar outcome, no cavities for anyone! My daughter hopped right up in the seat, sending out friendly greetings to the doctor and his staff. She was delighted with the blue bracelet she got from the prize chest since she was such a good girl for the doctor.

Oh, and the War on Germs? I went through the house today after I was done moaning and writhing on the floor from the pain of my sinus infection and sanitized every single doorknob, light switch, remote control and phone. After the munchkin goes to sleep tonight, I'll attack the hostile little things that are probably living on her toys. Great fun, huh?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Nothing Much

It's been a busy week--busier than usual, which is sad since I scheduled a few vacation days. Nothing, and I mean nothing, puts a cramp in plans like a sick family. Yesterday morning, my husband, my daughter and I all woke up with some weird cold bug. My husband is better today, I'm the same, and my daughter is worse. I actually don't feel that bad. It's just that my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton and the scar tissue in my throat from last year's tonsillectomy is painfully swollen and stretched and just really uncomfortable. Yuck.

I'm only bummed because I was going to paint the bathroom today, but I'm thinking paint fumes might irritate my nose and throat. I'm hoping this blows over fast, because we're all going to the dentist on Saturday.

Boring post, I know. I'm going to go sit in the sun on my very cold deck. Even though the air is chilly, there's something comforting about the sun warming up achy bones.

More nonsense later...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Almost Finished!

My closet is almost complete. I really wanted to be finished by tonight, but Target didn't have a few of the things I needed. Plus, I always fail to take into account my tad little bit of OCD, and things take longer than I anticipate...ah well. So, my "one thing at a time" plan is a work in progress. For your viewing pleasure though, here's a picture of my dresser--beautifully organized and completely clean. Yay!

Aren't the candles pretty? I love 'em! I decided to be lazy and not crop the you can see a little bit of the bathroom on the left and my closet door on the right. But it still looks good!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

End of the Year Resolutions

One of my co-workers said this to me yesterday: “Hey Atlas. You’re slumping under the weight of the world.” I laughed, straightened up and wiped the scowl off my face. Things aren’t so bad.

I believe there’s a fine life between being unhappy, being disappointed and being dissatisfied with one’s own life.

I think I equate unhappiness with a combination of being really miserable, sad and angry. It’s the mentality of, “This is hopeless. I’m hopeless.” I don’t feel those things. Thank goodness!

Being disappointed is sort of like, “This isn’t what I thought it was going to be. Definitely not what I was planning on when I planned out my life!” But there’s an element of hope, because the downward turn of life and circumstances can be changed.

The most frustrating position, I think, is just being dissatisfied. It’s sort of like, “There’s so much more I could be doing, so much more I should be doing. So much more that I want to do!”

I know I’m not alone in this. I know I’m also not alone in the struggle of finding my way in life (I just made a funny…finding my way…that’s the name of my blog!). There is so much that I want to do with my life, and I always have this sort of low-grade frantic feeling that I’m running out of time. I mean, we’re all running out of time, in some general way. Life is finite and I think being aware of that is so important if we’re going to live the way we really want to. Jeepers criminy, I sound like an existential philosopher. But the thought and the meaning behind it is true.

I had a bit of an emotional meltdown Tuesday night and told my husband, “I just want to be finished with something!” We moved into our house before our daughter was born, and we still need to paint and do some odds and ends around the place. I have a book that’s dangling near the finish line, but I’m too busy being a wife and mom and working and teaching to finish the thing. I have half a dozen art projects that need finishing. I have a how-to book so I can crochet a blanket. I have hundreds of photos that I need to finish organizing. And I realize that it’s not having too much to do that’s stressing me out. It’s the fact that nothing’s finished!

That’s when it hit me. That’s where that general feeling of dissatisfaction is coming from! I take on too much, no doubt, but I do it to myself. Then I get angry when I don’t finish it. I’d always been good at goal-setting and goal-meeting. I got way off track over the past few years. Kind of lost myself and my identity over the course of saving a marriage, being a mom, teaching therapists-to-be how to be therapists…and occasionally donning tights, boots and a cape to crush the evil in the world. The “old” me would have said, “Nope, I’m not doing anything else until [X] is finished. And I’m definitely not doing anything until I find a replacement for these control-top tights, hideous boots and cape.” I mean, what woman can save the world when her control-top whatevers are cutting off her circulation?

Now that I’ve ditched the control-top tights for a pair of baggy jeans that flow nicely over my bodacious booty and I’m in tennis shoes and a trendy wrap in place of boots and a cape, I think I’m going to go back to my original mentality. One thing at a time, one day at a time. So, onto my End of the Year Resolutions...

Goal #1: Finish organizing my closet. I’m going to buy the rest of the stuff I need from Target and get it done by Sunday night. Once that’s finished, I’ll focus on Goal #2: Painting the downstairs bathroom. The one that I painted last year, only to find out two days later that the hardware store sold me bedroom paint, not bathroom paint. The water streaks are getting on my nerves. It’ll be good to get that done. I plan on finishing that by next Friday. I’ll come up with more goals after that.

Hey, I’m feeling more satisfied already!

Sunday, November 04, 2007


Every now and then, I see something that (in a good way) slaps me in the back of the head. I have about 35 pages left to type before my first novel is complete. Here's to making dreams become reality...


Thursday, November 01, 2007

Halloween Hilarity

After my little munchkin missed out on her first two Halloweens due to being very sick, I was about out of my head with excitement that not only was she healthy enough, but also old enough to enjoy the fun of it all. Last night went something like this...

Me: C'mon sweetie. We're going to go trick-or-treating.

Her: No thank you mommy.

Me: (slight panic in my voice): But we can go get candy!

Her: I don't want candy mommy.

Me: Please? Look, you can have a piece of candy now.

Her: No mommy. No candy.

Me: Babycakes, come on. We'll just go to a few houses and say, "Trick or treat!"

Her: No.

Me: Well, what do you want to do?

Her: I want some mostaccoli for dinner.

Me: Can we go trick-or-treating when you're done?

Her: No, I don't want candy. Just mostaccoli.

It was a done conversation after that. We did finally get her to a few houses, but she wasn't happy about it. The little stinker didn't even eat any of the goodies she got. She was way more interested in what was left of the mostaccoli and garlic bread. Parenthood. Gotta love it.