Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Guilty Mommy Syndrome

I had one of those moments today where I feel like the absolute worst mom in the world. It's no secret that I'd like to be a stay-at-home mom and give up the business world. But, things being as they are, a second income is necessary, at least for a while longer.

Try explaining that to a sick little two year old, who, when leaving the doctor's office screamed, "No, no daddy! I go to work with mommy!"

Now, the good thing is that my husband is on vacation this week, so neither of us is missing any time from work to be home...not that it is EVER an issue to be with her. Even when she's super sick, I don't mind being home. I feel good being able to be there with her. Which is why I'm feeling so bad today. After three months of being off all medications, she got blindsided by some virus that rapidly led to a nasty bacterial infection. Fortunately, we caught it early, and were able to avoid hospitalization. We've certainly dodged every bullet so far, and for that, I'm very grateful. But back to the reason I'm feeling bad.

See, during her first year and a half, I always stayed home when she was sick. And she was sick a lot. Actually, "a lot" doesn't quite cover it. Let's just say I used more benefit time after going back to work from maternity leave than I did while I was on maternity leave. And I took off fourteen weeks after she was born. Got the idea? Anyway, I'm used to being the one taking care of her...measuring antibiotics, setting the timers so her meds aren't given too close together, managing a combination of medications for her breathing treatments...and I'm good at it. Really good at it. I'm not bragging, really. It's just that from the time she was an infant, I was the one doing all the medical stuff. Now, my sweet husband is doing it. And he's not doing bad.

Where does he get off taking good care of our sick two-year-old? I feel like I'm not needed. Waaaah!

Okay, my tantrum is over. The good news is that when I got home from work, she jumped into my arms, smotherered me in kisses and then said, "Sit down. I sit on your lap and watch Dora and Boots."

My immediate thought: "Huh? We don't own anything with Dora and Boots."

A quick glance toward my husband and there was no denying that guilty look. He bought her a Dora video as a bribe to take her medicine.

I've never had to bribe her to take medicine. Man, I rock!


Cheryl said...

You do rock. Everything I've read lets me see what a good mom you are. It's good that your hubby is having a turn being the caretaker. You're still the great mom.

jAMiE said...

Moms do rock and i'm glad she jumped into your arms like that, clearly you missed her.

My name is Kate B. said...

Don't feel too guilty. Sometimes it's good for a Dad to live in a Mom's shoes for the day. And it's good for a Mom to realize how much she rocks!