Sunday, January 28, 2007

Daily Struggles: Part III

So, I'm not always nice and not so great at forgiving people. I also have a tendency to judge celebrities.

Even worse, it's not always celebrities. Sometimes it's people in my close-knit circle, too. I don't really consider myself to be judgmental, but every now and then, I have a fleeting thought that usually starts with, "What is s/he thinking?" or "I could do it better than that." Not nice, I know, I know. But I do it anyway.

So, I have to confess that the whole "Brangelina" (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) relationship annoys me. It shouldn't. I mean, I don't know these people, I know nothing of their lives other than the occasional entertainment blurb I catch on the radio, but I'm still annoyed. It's not because they're freakin' everywhere but because...because...well, just because. Brad was married--and granted, I know nothing about his marriage or what ultimately led to its demise--but the fact is that he was married when he started his relationship with Angelina. I don't know if it was a sexual relationship or not, and I don't particularly care, but there was obviously some type of relationship going on. A very involved emotional friendship, let's say. The problem is that when someone (Brad) establishes that kind of emotional intimacy with someone else (Angelina), it's going to affect the original relationship (Brad and Jennifer's marriage) of the people who are supposed to be the most intimate. If time and energy and emotion are being dispersed outside of the marriage, the time and energy and emotion that belong in the marriage is gone. And the relationship crumbles.

As a side note, I think Angelina is more to blame than Brad. Maybe he was already unhappy in his marriage and it was on a downhill slide long before his new relationship. Maybe. I don't know, nobody will probably ever really know. So, maybe he made the decision that he needed to back away from the relationship. That was his decision. But along comes Angelina and essentially gives him an "out." Sort of like, "Hey, things aren't so cool over there? Come on over here." She knew he was married, yet proceeded to engage in a relationship with him. In my eyes, it makes Brad kind of a jerk, but Angelina scum. See? That's the sinful part. I shouldn't judge either of them. Though sometimes I wonder what God sees when he looks at Brad and Angelina--a desperately unhappy man and a woman whose sense of worth comes from a relationship with a married man?

Part of this is very personal for me, because there's an element of personal experience in this. Maybe that's why celebrity gossip bothers me more than it should. But I just keep thinking to myself, "What's wrong with them? Don't they care what they're doing? And don't they care what kind of example they're setting for their kids?" Now, God willing, maybe Brad and Angelina are soulmates and this was just a path to destiny that they had to take in order to find each other. I'd like to believe that's true. Part of me needs to believe that's true, especially since there's a child in the midst of it all.

People make mistakes in their relationships. Mistakes are okay when they're used as learning tools. Mistakes are not okay when they're made over and over again. If you keep doing the same thing, you're going to get the same results, right? Hahaha. So, if I keep judging people, I'll keep getting the same results--nothing. I believe it's time for me to focus on problems I can actually work toward solving.

Dear God, help me to remember that just because grass is greener on the other side of the fence, it's just as difficult to maintain and mow. Amen.

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